The role of the lost child in a dysfunctional family is quite different from other abusive roles. It isn’t loud and it doesn’t demand the spotlight. The lost child hides away far from any attention that’s dished out by parental figures. While others might be physically and verbally abused, the lost child stays right outside the drama and keeps to themselves.
Being the lost child has detrimental effects on your later life.
1. Numb The adult who was once a lost child in a dysfunctional family will have trouble feeling emotion. This is primarily because they practiced in childhood with hiding their emotions.
This kept them from being noticed when other members of the family were absorbed in drama.
2. Isolated Due to hiding away from stress as a child, the lost child will become an isolated adult. They will shy away from social activities and usually have few friends.
They will be able to open up a little, but will still tend to be reserved (closed) about their personal lives and true feelings. Some lost children become totally recluse ( isolated) at old age.
3. Lack of intimacy No matter how many intimate relationships they try to make, they often fail. The usual reason is due to the lack of feelings and overall lack of physical and emotional intimacy. Adult relationships, much like childhood ones, might fall through and fade away.
4. Self-sacrificing One of the good qualities of the lost child is their selflessness. If the lost child manages to create any relationships as an adult, they will generally sacrifice things for the people that they love.
This also comes from being the child in the shadows who never asked for anything and never received that much in return.
5. Low self-esteem Generally, the lost child will grow to have a rather low self-esteem. Although they didn’t really get noticed in a negative way much as a child, they also didn’t receive any praises either. The qualities needed to build a strong good self-esteem were not implemented into their lives while growing up.
There is hope.
If you were a lost child, never give up on being a better you by volunteering, education, skill building, and making friends. hope is always the answer to becoming someone much more powerful. Rebirth, regrowth, and reformation are tools for us all!
Say this 10 times a day: Everyday in Every Way I’m getting Better and Better.