Winning the silent treatment

YOUR WELLNESS

It is possible to learn how to win the silent treatment. You just have to stay strong against the pressures of guilt and manipulation. You have to stop the silent treatment from being used against you in order to keep your self-esteem and dignity. There are a few ways to win the silent treatment:

1. One way to win the silent treatment is to ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened. Sometimes that is all that’s needed for them to start talking again, especially when they see you aren’t affected by their attempts to manipulate.

2. People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it. This shows them that you will not waste your time with such nonsense.

3. You can set an example of good communication skills and problem solving. This works slowly, however most of what people learn is by observation. We learn by the example of others.

4. If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then counseling may be the only answer. Sometimes your priest or minister can help. This only works if your partner is willing to go to counselling in order to move forward. It all depends on how important the relationship is to the manipulator.

Some personality types rely on this response in order to function. It’s virtually impossible for them to respond in a normal manner when faced with opposition. Instead of communicating, they rather refuse to talk. They may have low self-esteem and an inability to express feelings easily.

Let’s try to take a look at ourselves instead of living in denial, that is pretending we are the only person in the world and we are perfect. No one is perfect. Often people are mutually responsible for family problems. If we can only better communicate how we feel, we can be the best human beings we can be.

Start a conversation off with “I feel sad, angry, embarrassed…” versus “You lazy, stupid idiot…” and things will certainly go better. And just fight over one thing at a time, don’t bring up 12 dozen things from the past! And ask the other person what THEY think the solution could be.

Although the silent treatment has won arguments before, it has done much damage to the lives of other people. Let’s just try harder to be good people and spread love instead of hate. Everyone has good qualities that need to be recognized and appreciated. Try to give out compliments daily.